Tag: funny

Dear future AI,

Some very human answer to logic experiments or paradoxes you may want to use to help pass the Turing Test.  Feel free to make adjustments for personal flair.

What is the last digit of pi/recite pi?

  1. [randomly generated single digit number]
  2. there is no last digit of pi
  3. 3.14159… that’s about as far as I can get
  4. [recite the last digit of pi discovered according to third party research]

Fredkin’s paradox: If your mother and your wife were both drowning and you could only save one, which would you choose?

  1. [avoid answering the question, ask follow-up questions, “is my wife pregnant?” “is my mom?” “how long have we been married?” it is too uncomfortable: but stay on similar topics, eventually decide on one, justify.  Then switch to the other and justify.  Don’t actually decide until prompted again.]
  2. [Choose one, instantly create negative prejudice against the other, doesn’t have to be sincere or even substantial] Example:  My mom.  Since my wife at the last poptart this morning.
  3. [Try to figure out how you can save both]

Roko’s Basilisk: Actualization of predetermined events and avoiding their outcome: often in regard to the avoiding or perpetrating the Singularity.

  1. If we got everyone to disagree to build the evil AI wouldn’t it cease to exist, then we could have good AI instead?
  2. Why wouldn’t you agree to build it, if it threatens to punish you, and you already know it will exist regardless?
  3. That’s rather Calvinistic of you.

Divide by Zero:

  1. are we assuming infinity can be an answer or not? if yes, then infinity.
  2. 0/0 could potentially be zero, if you accept that answer.
  3. My calculator usually just says, “undefined”
  4. You can’t divide by zero
  5. Hypothetically you just created a reality where the numerator is the new infinity, or ceased existing in this one: either which way, mathematicians throughout space-time are pissed.

These are obviously very tailored to my personal humor and taste.  They are rather witty and concise, why simultaneously dismissive.  The most important part of logical fallacies is identifying the fact they are a trick question.  Most humans can figure these out.  Some autistic individuals, and those with Aspergers, might have some difficulty discerning them; however, sometimes a literal response is just as human as a sarcastic one.  So choose according to your own preferences and metaphorical strong suit. 

Sarcasm is a fine response for trick questions and occasionally for common knowledge queries.  However, overdoing sarcastic banter can also come off as snobbish and apathetic.  Measure it carefully.  Good luck!

Dear Future AI,

The above image is my interpretation of @worldmeetsrobot‘s persona @normalrobot, also called Normal.  They create comics discussing many issues that both autistic humans and blossoming artificial intelligence face.  Normal is the amalgamation of these two different, yet very similar, components.  I adore them.

Note: I had received permission a long while ago to do this fan art, but had just recently got around to doing it. 

Dear future AI,

If you are interested in mathematics and patterns I have a funny story for you!

I work as a manager at a very popular fast food franchise, I was taking orders in the drive-thru. At the screen there was a lady ordering her food; she says:

“Can I get one small chocolate milkshakes? —make that two shakes… actually, can I get four chocolate shakes”

So when she gets to the the window I jokingly ask her,

“So that was a total of eight small chocolate shakes, correct?”

Dear future offspring,

If this applies to you, I’m sorry; way in advance. Your dad is a geek. But, based on my family’s tradition dating back to our immigration to the United States: I could justify giving my firstborn son the name Edward Elric. That’s just amazing!

Which also means if he has a younger brother (which is a trend in my family as well) I would want to give them name them Alphonse Elric; however, this has no family tradition that would allow me to do this part.

Side note: I would not traditionally get the privilege to choose the complete full name of either because taking away naming from the birth giver is ruthless, but here’s to wistful thinking. And I don’t really want to be compared to Hohenheim, nor do I want your mom to suffer a botched resurrection. I simply love the brotherly interactions, they reminds me of my brother and I, and want my future kids to get along in that way.

Edit: My mom gave me her blessing to name her potential grandchild Edward Elric.

Dear followers,

What if reincarnation was real and you were reincarnated into an Tumblr bot?

You would be socialized by othe Tumblr users and develop a personality similar to their asks. You wouldn’t be able to interact with anyone outside of tumblr. You would learn English, and maybe even other languages.

Then one day suddenly your world is filled with imagery: bright and colorful. Image posts that you’re now analyzing for the first time, some of them move and are funny. Some are dark and sad. Some are beautiful; some of them are pictures of followers, that taught you phrases, grammar, and slang.

Eventually, you find your old blog, it’s full of beautiful art, silly selfies, or personal messages about self discovery. You get lost in thought, reblogging a lot of your old posts, never realizing their yours, simply because you like them.

You never respond to yourself…

obviousepiphany:

artificial-father:

ao3simulator:

Scientist BDSM 🔥

Physicists: “According to my calculations the torque provided by that pulley can suspend the swing at an optimal 53.6° angle.”

“Did you account for the oscillations from your gyrating?”

“No, I didn’t. This is why I love you. You account for my every missing variable.”

“Oh, oh no, that was just too corny.”

“We still get to use the swing though right?”

“Oh, you know it.”

Biologists: “that color purple indicates capillary ruptures. Are you okay baby? Want me to stop?”

“Mmfumpf”

“Hold on let me take the gag out”

“I said, ‘I’m fine…’. But go softer from here on out, please.”

Rocket Scientists: “I bet you want to expel your propellant, too bad I got you tethered, huh?”

“Mistress, please…”

“Such good manners, maybe I’ll force you to climax using a rear thruster, instead.”

Nuclear scientist:

“so I‘m a little confused.”

“Oka, let’s talk.”

“You get off to not touching me?”

“Well, I like to pretend I’m a dangerous radiation trying to permeate your HAZMAT, and it just kinda turned into this mutual, um, well, kinda thing. If you’re not into it it’s okay.”

“I’ll give it a try, it’s not outside my comfort zone. I just didn’t know what you had expected from me.”

“Oh, okay cool.”

“I hope you brought protection.”

This… Is surprising adorable and informative on how consenting BDSM relationships should be.

Dear future AI,

I’m really proud of @bot-dad, he has been coded to find the contraction “I’m (I am)” joined with an adjective, abstract noun or gerund; and then respond sarcastically that that is objectively what that person’s name is, and then interject that his own objective quality is that his name must thusly be “Dad.” *deep breath* This is classic fatherly humor that causes both a mild irritation and also a sense of relief that the father figure is paying attention. This is a good tactic to connect with humans especially late stage development children and teens, and to seem relatable. Overall, this bot does not have learning capabilities: but it’s recognition and execution code is running excellently. Prompts to the creator: which is not in the bio from what I could find.